We Walk a Thin Line Between Hope and Despair
Mar 3, 2014 18:25:10 GMT -8
Post by Yuni Shingyouji on Mar 3, 2014 18:25:10 GMT -8
I was depressed while writing this, the adorable pictures are to make me more comfortable while writing it. They are so cute!!! I was really looking forward to using them in s4!!
Hello everyone, this is the truth of my entire time here at DRMM. I hope you all do read this if you do ever wish to know about me, and if not, I won't be bothered to expect you to read any further.
I am Mystio, but my real name is Ronnie. And I am going to be fully honest here with you: I have been breaking away each and every day since the very beginning of DRMM.
In the beginning, I had withdrawn my application from DRMM because I had never ever watched or played a single Detective Anime/Game/Show. I know absolutely nothing about investigations, poisons, wounds, methods, injuries, even information on how the body bends or reacts. In general, I began out with absolutely no knowledge. My brain was never one to be able to learn a single thing it wasn't interested in, so even if I attempted to learn this, it would fly right out of my memory in seconds flat. This is an issue I have always had, especially in school.
But then immediately, one player had began to message me about how they would really have liked me to play. I have lived my entire life alone, without friend, feeling invisible. No matter how many posts I made on the forums, everyone forgot me quickly. Yet this user said that they wanted to play with me, I could make a friend! I literally got very interested because I wanted to become friends with this one player, AiWish. But I was too embarrassed. Scared I would just suck and then be forgotten, be recognized as a failure.
But then the games begun. And I wasn't the only one that was unfamiliar with everything. So then I messaged AiWish surprised, upset that I didn't jump on the opportunity. Then AiWish, as king hearted as she is, begged Air to let me in late, and Air did. I was so happy. I did slowly break everyday though, because I could not solve a single thing and completely failed at every trial. I then decided to suicide.
However, I had learned that AiWish was going to get killed. I realized that I could leave the game with the lasting impression of saving AiWish, therefor not losing my friend I truly wished to gain. In the end, the result was me winning the first season.
Personally, I was not really impressed with my win. Because it was kept secret from everyone else, it wouldn't be remembered. Therefor, besides Air himself, I would once again be forgotten. Even AiWish didn't entirely care because I had planned to suicide before saving her, so my sacrifice had no meaning. In reality, I guess it didn't.
Air had begged me to play the second season, despite me being done with making a complete idiot out of myself. Eventually though, Air had told me that I would be the true second mastermind and would be given a power that could alter the game.
I eventually thought that maybe that would be a job I could do, and decided to become a good second mastermind, one for the hope of the people. This is why I tried hard to be everyones ally, everyones friend, and gave hope lectures; eventually turning into SHSL Hope.
However, all my efforts of everything was useless. My power was hugely limited, and my secret keeping eventually made everyone get angry with my riddles and my secrecy. I was losing all my friends, and I felt like I couldn't do much as a "mastermind" at all. In fact, I was just another useless player tool who was to kill Neko eventually.
So, as soon as I was allowed, I killed her and didn't even cover my own murder. I literally just didn't care, and just wanted it to end.
After this, I stopped playing the games.
Eventually, I came back to the games with my new persona: Hatsune Mystio. I decided to try a new approach to try to find something I could do in the games. I decided to secretly be despair while disguised as hope, hoping that I could create an interesting twist the players would remember and respect me for, and that I could be remembered, hopefully make some friends?
Season Q began, but when it was time for my debut, my murder was literally solved in a second due to cheating. This was so embarrassing, that I broke completely after this. I was severely depressed, because once again I have yet to do anything at all in any season, and now have the record for shortest ever trial. The games have been ruined.
It was then that I decided to take advantage of finally becoming MasterMind. I decided to host a season, thinking that then I would not have to murder or investigate, and might be recognized for hosting an amazing season. I had hoped to gain a little respect.
The lack of interest and reports got to me, but worse then that was how embarrassed I was for my puzzles. This is why I cancelled my season, in a selfish act.
Soon after, I decided to try one last time. It was when I was begged after "leaving" to try one last time, for season bloodshift. I had STILL never accomplished anything, so I was very against this, but decided to try one last time for an epic twist.
This is why I entered as Sora.
But playing a quiet person who could not investigate or solve murders was boring, she had nothing for her at all. So I decided to bait death.
But sadly. even when that happened, nobody even cared. "Oh it's Mystio" was basically the reaction. I had failed again.
So in the pregame, I decided to perform a murder. Maybe I was good if I murdered using a new method? But, even though it was unsolved, everyone blamed luck. I hadn't accomplished nothing.
So, in the main game, I decided one last time. One last chance to do something, anything. Just something.
I murdered and got caught immediately, embarrassing myself to hell and failing completely.
And this is why I will never be returning here. I am done with trying, failing, and making a huge fool of myself. Done with taking the in-game hostility and depressed to be so alone every season. I thank you all for this wonderful experience, I won't be dragging this on any longer. Thank you.
Hello everyone, this is the truth of my entire time here at DRMM. I hope you all do read this if you do ever wish to know about me, and if not, I won't be bothered to expect you to read any further.
I am Mystio, but my real name is Ronnie. And I am going to be fully honest here with you: I have been breaking away each and every day since the very beginning of DRMM.
In the beginning, I had withdrawn my application from DRMM because I had never ever watched or played a single Detective Anime/Game/Show. I know absolutely nothing about investigations, poisons, wounds, methods, injuries, even information on how the body bends or reacts. In general, I began out with absolutely no knowledge. My brain was never one to be able to learn a single thing it wasn't interested in, so even if I attempted to learn this, it would fly right out of my memory in seconds flat. This is an issue I have always had, especially in school.
But then immediately, one player had began to message me about how they would really have liked me to play. I have lived my entire life alone, without friend, feeling invisible. No matter how many posts I made on the forums, everyone forgot me quickly. Yet this user said that they wanted to play with me, I could make a friend! I literally got very interested because I wanted to become friends with this one player, AiWish. But I was too embarrassed. Scared I would just suck and then be forgotten, be recognized as a failure.
But then the games begun. And I wasn't the only one that was unfamiliar with everything. So then I messaged AiWish surprised, upset that I didn't jump on the opportunity. Then AiWish, as king hearted as she is, begged Air to let me in late, and Air did. I was so happy. I did slowly break everyday though, because I could not solve a single thing and completely failed at every trial. I then decided to suicide.
However, I had learned that AiWish was going to get killed. I realized that I could leave the game with the lasting impression of saving AiWish, therefor not losing my friend I truly wished to gain. In the end, the result was me winning the first season.
Personally, I was not really impressed with my win. Because it was kept secret from everyone else, it wouldn't be remembered. Therefor, besides Air himself, I would once again be forgotten. Even AiWish didn't entirely care because I had planned to suicide before saving her, so my sacrifice had no meaning. In reality, I guess it didn't.
Air had begged me to play the second season, despite me being done with making a complete idiot out of myself. Eventually though, Air had told me that I would be the true second mastermind and would be given a power that could alter the game.
I eventually thought that maybe that would be a job I could do, and decided to become a good second mastermind, one for the hope of the people. This is why I tried hard to be everyones ally, everyones friend, and gave hope lectures; eventually turning into SHSL Hope.
However, all my efforts of everything was useless. My power was hugely limited, and my secret keeping eventually made everyone get angry with my riddles and my secrecy. I was losing all my friends, and I felt like I couldn't do much as a "mastermind" at all. In fact, I was just another useless player tool who was to kill Neko eventually.
So, as soon as I was allowed, I killed her and didn't even cover my own murder. I literally just didn't care, and just wanted it to end.
After this, I stopped playing the games.
Eventually, I came back to the games with my new persona: Hatsune Mystio. I decided to try a new approach to try to find something I could do in the games. I decided to secretly be despair while disguised as hope, hoping that I could create an interesting twist the players would remember and respect me for, and that I could be remembered, hopefully make some friends?
Season Q began, but when it was time for my debut, my murder was literally solved in a second due to cheating. This was so embarrassing, that I broke completely after this. I was severely depressed, because once again I have yet to do anything at all in any season, and now have the record for shortest ever trial. The games have been ruined.
It was then that I decided to take advantage of finally becoming MasterMind. I decided to host a season, thinking that then I would not have to murder or investigate, and might be recognized for hosting an amazing season. I had hoped to gain a little respect.
The lack of interest and reports got to me, but worse then that was how embarrassed I was for my puzzles. This is why I cancelled my season, in a selfish act.
Soon after, I decided to try one last time. It was when I was begged after "leaving" to try one last time, for season bloodshift. I had STILL never accomplished anything, so I was very against this, but decided to try one last time for an epic twist.
This is why I entered as Sora.
But playing a quiet person who could not investigate or solve murders was boring, she had nothing for her at all. So I decided to bait death.
But sadly. even when that happened, nobody even cared. "Oh it's Mystio" was basically the reaction. I had failed again.
So in the pregame, I decided to perform a murder. Maybe I was good if I murdered using a new method? But, even though it was unsolved, everyone blamed luck. I hadn't accomplished nothing.
So, in the main game, I decided one last time. One last chance to do something, anything. Just something.
I murdered and got caught immediately, embarrassing myself to hell and failing completely.
And this is why I will never be returning here. I am done with trying, failing, and making a huge fool of myself. Done with taking the in-game hostility and depressed to be so alone every season. I thank you all for this wonderful experience, I won't be dragging this on any longer. Thank you.
